As I’m typing this I am absolutely terrified. I have a multitude of thoughts running through my head. This is preposterous, no one will want to read about you, you have nothing important to say, your life is fairly boring, how vain and egocentric can you possibly be! The truth is I really don’t have much to say, my life is fairly boring, and most of the time I am much more vain and egocentric than I would like to admit. However, God began to prompt me to start a blog four years ago when I went to the Catalyst leadership conference for the first time. At that time, though, I let the fears and doubts in my mind drown out the Holy Spirit’s prompting in my heart, and eventually the persistent prompting faded to a random thought here and there.
Recently, though, I was blessed enough to attend the Catalyst conference again, and God spoke to me about SO MUCH in so many ways. It truly was like drinking out of a fire hose, but in the very first session we attended on the very first day the prompting began again. The speaker stated that before she wrote her first book she thought all the statements I’ve listed above, but then she realized that she was truly being selfish and egocentric if she actually thought that anything she would say in her book was about her. If God was guiding her to write the book, then He had something to say, and it would be selfish of her to stand in His way. Immediately the thought of this blog popped back in my mind. I really don’t even know what to write about, though. What would I even say? I argued. Then the gentle whisper of ideas, lines, and topics began to flood my mind and spirit. So, here I am…blogging.
I still, honestly, don’t have a clear vision. So, I’m just going to write when and what I’m prompted to. I can’t give a definitive theme for this blog like “they” say you need to, and I can’t tell you for sure what direction I’m going in. What I can tell you for now is some basics about me and some essential truths I am holding to as I write this. I believe that if we were all more transparent with each other we would ease the unnecessary shame and guilt that we so often inflict on ourselves. My husband and I recently got 1st Corinthians 15:10 tattooed, “By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace towards me is not in vain”, and I am trying to live into that truth daily. God is challenging me to evaluate areas of my life, pushing me out of my comfort zones, and I’m both excited and reluctant about it. I believe that people should be less ashamed of their inner child. As a result, I enjoy building forts in my living room, coloring, and am admittedly afraid of the dark. I’m a teacher and FCA leader. I know, deep in my soul, that I was called to these positions, however I war on an almost daily basis with the monotonous tasks that teaching entails. I am married to my best friend, hero, spiritual leader, and the most wonderful man on Earth. We don’t think we want children, and I feel like I allow this to define me much more than I should. I have recently become a fan of science fiction and am an unashamed nerd of all things related to Sci-fi/fantasy. My husband and I have rescued four dogs, two of which we still have. If I had it my way, we would open a dog rescue/coffee shop/church plant and live happily ever after.
While I’m excited about this new world of blogging, I am also hesitant. I would like to say that I will be blogging once a week or at least once a month, but if I’m being totally honest, I’m not that good at commitments. I’m trying to be more realistic with myself, and not set unachievable goals that will then cause me to feel bad about myself when I don’t achieve them. So, I will try to write more blogs when I feel led to do so, and when I do I hope you can find some joy, comfort, humor, or commonality within them. If that is the case, I’d love to hear about it, so feel free to leave comments below.